Stop It!

But I want MORE!

Stop It!

This is what I have to tell myself when those tiny little videos or messages pop up making everything look simple from baking, to decorating, to cutting your own hair, to starting a business.

They pop up to encourage, or entice, me to do something that looks so easy – for them anyway, and is absolutely painful or impossible for me.

Beautiful apple pie rosettes that were made in a short little video drew me in. When beauty is that easy I went against my better judgement and took the plunge. I cut, rolled, sprinkled and then prayed as I popped those little beauties into the oven.

Looking longingly through the oven door glass hoping to see those rosettes blossoming only to see my creation wilting right before my eyes.

Another hour of my life wasted on wilted apple rosettes that looked too easy, and maybe too good to be true – for me.

I need to stop it!

Whatever that “it” might be, because – I am a sucker, or as I lovingly call myself, easy to sell to.

I get excited when others are excited. I believe and trust and hope in what is presented to me as life changing for others will change my life as well.

Why? I want MORE!

And because I love to watch transformations. To watch raw material transform into something wonderful, apples and flour to beautiful cinnamon kissed rosettes.

From hard to simple, from bland to beautiful, from homeless to hopeful. And that love of transformation, and the possibilities and promises that come with it, has costed me dearly.

In wasted time, wasted dollars, wasted dreams.

After spending thousands of dollars and hours trying to be just like so many someone elses I deemed more successful or knowledgable than myself, I decided to stop it, and sell myself on being myself.

To sell myself that who I am, how I work, what I look like, what my perception of the world and how it works is MORE than enough for me. That me being MORE will be great for me, it will change my life.

And it did!

When I started to be MORE me, living life my way, not selfishly, but vividly and honestly, life has been MORE than I ever dreamed possible. It is who I am and most importantly, it is who I should be – me just MORE.  The transformed me! 

And now I can’t stop it!

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